


We Might Need Jesus

by AdmiralMistachio, iXombeh



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Fanfic, mentions and use of marijuana, terrible descriptions of sex and bjs, too many nicknames
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 13:27:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3121889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdmiralMistachio/pseuds/AdmiralMistachio, https://archiveofourown.org/users/iXombeh/pseuds/iXombeh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aoba is high all the time. Mink is a douche canoe. Noiz needs to chill out. Started out as a crack rp and is now a work of art.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Might Need Jesus

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd at all.   
> I'm sorry for this monstrosity.  
> I love it.

Once upon a time there was a bitch ass crack baby named Aoba

 

And this bitch ass crack baby was high all the fucking time. Like holy fuck how can you afford so much weed my god what are you getting paid at a junk shop.

 

"I get it from your mom" Aoba yelled at the weird hobo outside the junkshop that was self narrating

 

Ooba takes a long ass drag from his joint and puts his feet up on the desk totally forgetting the hobo Koujaku that knows about his life. The hobo Koukack silently sobs at the 'your mom' joke.

 

As Jack pondered how his life had taken a shitty tern Aobas dealer showed up on a motercycle and trudged into the junk shop. "Where's my fucking money Wonder Twink?"

 

"Ayyy Bara Pappy." Oobers pulled out his big ass wallet and pulled out tons of money and gave it too the tall dude in tall shoes. "Don't spend it all in one place now daddy-o."

 

The big ass bara bitch opened the wad of money to reveal it was all in ones. "What the hell is this twinky?" You a stripper now? Or does your sugar daddy collect in singles?"

 

"Both~" Aoba wiggles in his chair and giggles. "Now then pappy where's my weed? I'm scheduled for a vacay and I need my ride to get there."

 

"Don't you sass me bitch baby." Mink through a few dime bags and the stringy haired dripping asshole. "Tell your sugar daddy to get his minions under control. The wonder twins are trying to get into my shipments.

 

"Whoaaa~ Looks like I'm going to be flying high for a looooonnng time" Aoba stashes the junk in a tear in his huge pillow jacket. Yeah the reason that thing is so fluffy is cause of all the marijuana crop hiding in there. "And you should take up the matter of blondy and red pubes with the main man himself. I can't control those two."

 

"You can control them well enough to shove their dicks in your mangina"

 

"Youuuuuu are a huge dick face. It's caalllled an anal canal you cinnamon bather. Anyhosery, you can be on your way because I'm going to be lighting up and I shall take my final form. TOODLE-LOO MOTHER FUCKERRRRR." Aob took out his pipe and began his ascent to not right there.

 

Bara Bara slaps the wonder twink. "Don't talk to me like that you little bitch. I could kill you." With that Mr Bear Arms left to go take a cinnamon bath. The of the dirty asshole surronding the wonder twink was cramping the old mans style.

 

As the man who doesn't know how to sew walked out a pale memer stepped into the shop. "You got any weed on you, Boa?"

 

Red Pubes peered into the door and gazed at bunny mans booty. "That's one fine ass bootay my man."

 

The memer turned around to face the man who uses cake a lube. "You keep your sticky fingers off my buns I just showered."

 

Just then a rabid dog ran into the store and clamped its mouth onto bunny man's junk. No matter how much the bunny man pulled, the dog wouldn't let go. "Ren! Only I'm aloud to bite his peen!" The dog fell to the ground in a disappointed manner but perked up when he saw the peen had been arosed. "Damn it. Now I have to fap. I don't have time for this! This is why I need to keep my personal fapper on the clock all the time!" "I can take care of that for ya if you want sugar daddy." Red Pubes intruded into the conversation once more.

 

Aoba slowly moved away from the desk and latched himself onto Noizoops leg. "I would be honored if I could bite dis dick. I'll give you some of my stash bunny boy. Fuuuuuuck you're taller than a treeeeee."

 

 

"We talked about this oobert. You are awful at sucking dick"

 

"Whhattttt. No-sir-ree-bob I believe that you are mistaken pea pod. I am like king at giving out the ol' bibbly doo." Aoba pats the swiss cheese man on his junk.

 

The bunny man pushes Aoba off his leg and takes his weed "Wheres Bara at? He sucks a good dick."

 

"He went to talk to sugar paps because the beach blonds have been shoving their dingers in his inventory." Aoba slow dances back to his desk.

 

"God Damn Mister Toe stealing my cock sucker. Fuck." Bunny man trudged out of the junk shop, boner and all.

 

"Ayyy," magic robot man runs into meme king as he's leaving the cruddy establishment. "I see someone has a rod in his leg protectors. What is all this about?"

  
"We should all go see Mr. Money bags. Aoba-sun you haven't been showing up to work." 

 

"I don't care what yall fucks do. Actually- hey short circuit. How good are you and sucking dick?" Bunny Man asked the titanium man. 

 

"I have been programmed to pleasure a donger in the best way. Not to mention my dick vibrates, just in case you thought about maybe going a bit further then just a dick in the mouth." Lifetime battery man does the double pistol finger thing and winks. 

 

The bun bun lover drops his drawers without a second thought. "Show me what you are made of"

 

Clear instantly kneels down and shoves the whole peen peen down his throat, because you know, why would a robot have a gag reflex, like nah son. He skillfully lick all up on the pierced dinger and is moving hella fast. He has mad skills.

  
Aobert gets extremly jell jell as he sees all of this going to. He losers his temper, grabs a knife and shoves it through the hard drives mouth, giving the bun bun man another piercing in the process. 

 

The hobo Jacku is outside laughing because now Mr. Memetastic has to go to the hospital 

 

Meanwhile at sugarcane tower Admiral Cinnamon is giving butthole sex to the sugar daddy, as per condition of the agreement settled upon. Sugar Daddy would stop the bleach blonde bitch babies from getting into the shipments and Bara Bara would fuck his poop hole.

 

"Thank you Minkers for the glorious anal penetration you bestowed upon me. Our agreement stands, I will stop sick man and unbleached rug boy to stop fricking in your supplies."

 

"Thanks glory hole."Munk said as he exited the sugar papi's office zipping up he jeans.

 

"There goes the only man I'll ever love. Too bad I'll never get his families approval for a number of reasons." Mr. 2 falls to the floor laying on all his money bags. "At least I have all this mon mon to make me happy." ****

 

Mink farts super loud down the hallway and stanks up mr toe's entire office ****

 

"Oh... oh dear... why.... why the FUCK DOES THIS NOT SMELL LIKE CINNAMON!!?? I AM SO CONFUSED. WHY IS THE SMOKE DETECTOR GOING OFF!?? WHAT IS HAPPENING." ****

 

Mink turns his head back to Mister 2 and smirks. "I'm allergic to affection" Mr 2 grins a bit and lets out a small laugh. At that point Mink turned around and let out the biggest and loudest fart he could muster and disspeared into the cloud of brown smoke. ****

 

MEANWHILE AT THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE MINKS PART OF THE STORY IS OVER FOREVER, Noiz is getting stitches in his lower tube. ****

 

"Mastaaaaa why would you do this?????" Clear whined as he continued trying to jack off a bleeding noiz without ripping stitches. "Shouldn't have touched my man." oobert says nonchalantly as noiz pets his hair. Bunny smiles. "You are all my bitches" ****

 

Aobanner leans into the touch. "Can I be the first to ride your thing when you heal?" He takes a puff of his mary jane stick. ****

 

"Jeez Aobert you only think of yourself, what if clear wants to- what the fuck is that?" Noiz screamed, He smelt the air just to make sure he wasn't losing his mind. "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL" As if on command, minkiepie road in on a cloud of brown smoke

 

Robo cop looked around confused. "I don't understand? Why is uba passed out? What's happening? Why are smoke detectors going off?"

 

As Mink let out another huge fart Robo Cop lost his mind and his weapons short circuited. It was on that day that the world received a grim reminder, no one is safe from robo cop. RIP ALL THE GAYS. Except Jack. Hes the lone survivor.

 

Then Endn.

 


End file.
